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Jenn's Animals Northeast Mississippi |
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July 9, 2005 Scriptural Marriage?? Written by Jennifer Austin Because
of recent decisions that have been made by Gerald and I, I feel the need to
defend our decision Biblically. First,
I will say that our decision to reunite our relationship was based on careful
study of the scriptures. Our first decision was not. The first decision was
based on past relationships and what we have been taught through the church. Here
is what we have been taught: 1.
We are accountable for all past marriages and divorces prior to becoming a
Christian. 2.
Our current situation is not considered a marriage by the eyes of God; therefore
we are living in adultery. I.
Are we held accountable for past
marriages and divorces that took place before becoming a Christian?
A. New Man Vs. Old Man As
a new Christian we are a new man, we have a new body. The old man is past away
(2Cor Our
lives from that point forward are completely new. We are starting from scratch.
So, how can we continue to be accountable for past relationships and
experiences? When
we say
we are still married to those from previous divorces, are we not saying that we
are responsible for the deeds of the old man? That is not what scripture teaches
us. In 2 Cor 5:17-18 it says ‘all things are become new. And all things are of
God who had reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ and hath given to us the
ministry of reconciliation.’ All things, not some things. All things are
reconciled. So,
scripturally are we held accountable for things in our past lives? Are we held
accountable for some of our past lives? Or is our Old man completely dead?
Partially dead? Or just a little dead? B.
Is 1 Cor 7: 17-24 talking about
marriage issue? 1.
It is in between all the verses that
are dealing with marriage? 2.
It talks about letting us walk in the
way in which we were called. This can be easily related to marriage and
unmarried. He is very strong about this statement and repeats it three times. 3.
He
cannot be talking about physical circumcision because one cannot become
uncircumcised. Therefore
he has to be talking about something else. 4.
He
Talks
about slavery and being a freeman. Don’t worry about it, either way you are a
freeman to men and a slave to Christ. All
of these points can be related to a marriage and would make more sense
considering the verses before and after. If
these verses are talking about the marriage issue, then it would indicate that
we are not accountable for past relationships before becoming a Christian. We
are to stay where we are and go from there. II. We
are taught that our marriage is not a true marriage in God’s eyes. It is an
unscriptural marriage meaning we are living in adultery, because of Gerald’s
past marriage. According to what “we” “ A.
Abraham, a Godly man, a faithful man
had more than one wife. As a matter of fact he divorced his second wife and
married another after her. B.
Moses, A Godly man, a faithful man,
was married to two women. Numbers 12:1-15 C.
David, a man after God’s own heart
had several wives. It is stated that God gave him the wives. “I gave thee thy
master’s house and thy master’s wives into thy Bosom.”
2 Sam 12:8 D.
Jacob, a faithful man (Heb Were
these marriages approved of by God? Were all of these men living adulterous
lives in the sight of God? If they were how could they be considered Godly,
faithful men by God himself? Many
of Godly men married and remarried, and remarried. These were men who clearly
followed God and his word. Has God’s Will changed? III.
To further show whether our marriage
is scriptural or not I will also point out several verses in 1 Corinthians
chapter 7 that may shed some light on Paul’s answers to questions concerning
marriage, divorce, remarriage during the early church. I highly recommend
reading the whole chapter, forget what you have been told it means and just read
the chapter. Remembering that he is answering questions on this subject to new
Christians. 1.
1Cor a.
In the case of a believer and an
unbeliever the believer is not under bondage. So are they under bondage of the
marriage this verse clearly says they are not. b.
Maybe the bondage is referring to
something else. Believer is not bound to stay with the unbeliever. Well this
cannot be true because the unbeliever has already left. The believer doesn’t
have to chase after the other. Nothing here is mentioned about the believer
going after the unbeliever so I think that is too far fetched. c.
Can we be free from slaver/bondage
(marriage) and still be in slavery (in the marriage)? Would we really be free if
we had to continue to follow the laws of bondage? d.
He also said God hath called us to
peace. Peace: one, peace, quietness, rest, and set at one again. If the believer
is at peace-set at one again and is not enslaved, are they free to remarry
again? e.
If the person is not bound to the
marriage then it gives an example of a situation where adultery is not the only
thing that can free a person from a marriage. 2.
1 Cor a.
No where in the new or old testament
is it stated that God/Christ did not acknowledge a marriage between a man and
woman? On the contrary, in the Old Testament all second, third, etc. wives are
called wives and expected to be treated as wives. 3.
1 Cor 7:2 shows the weight that being
unmarried would bring. To avoid fornication let them marry. a.
Again in 1 Cor 7:9 if they cannot
contain let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn. b.
This is hard to argue. We are forcing
couples to separated and live a life of celibacy. This opens up a strong couple
to become two weak people. Is it better to sin daily yearning, wanting,
fantasizing, and at times becoming uncontrollable? Paul said no. What burdens
are we laying on people? It is not just the sex. The Lord gave us a desire to be
with someone of the opposite sex. It is almost impossible for some to contain. c.
In this verse he was talking to the
unmarried. He did not single out what type of unmarried. 4.
I am not arguing that Matt 19:9 and
Matt 5, etc. Doesn’t say one commits adultery. It says what it says, just as
these say what they say. Is adultery a continuous sin? I cannot find that to be
true in all I have read. a.
It is a sin to break the marriage
covenant. But can we receive forgiveness for it? Especially if it was before we
became children of God. b.
If we are already remarried should we
again break another covenant? 1.
One may say we are not married under
God’s law. I have not found that in the book either. Many Godly people would
have been considered unscriptural in the Old Testament. Did God consider them
unscriptually married? No evidence is in the book. Refer to part II 2.
There are no examples in the New
Testament or in early history of early Christians leaving their spouse. c.
There was times God told people to
divorce their wives because of sinful deeds. Were they able to marry again? God
hates Divorce; Divorce is a breaking of a covenant. Divorce is usually hurting
one or more people. It is not done out of love and was not done out of love in
the accounts that he was talking to the Pharisees. We are causing couples to
divorce each other, stating their marriage is unscriptural. There is not any
evidence there is such as thing, it is not talked about in the Bible.
To force something that is clearly not in the Bible is adding to. Are we
holding people to mistakes that they made before they were children of God and
is this taught in the scriptures? I
hope I have succeeded in showing the reason Gerald and I decided not to create
another divorce by continuing to stay apart. I also hope that I have caused you
to study the scriptures for yourself to find the answer. I truly believe in my
heart that I am doing the right thing by scripture. If you would like to study
with me about this subject please let me know and we can set up a time. My goal
is to be right with God no matter what the answer is. I believe I made my
decision rationally putting aside as much emotion as humanly possible. I tried
very hard not to allow my situation be my guide. A
few other questions I would like to add: For
a covenant, do all those involved have to know about it? Can a marriage covenant
be made with God if neither people know God? Did they enter into a covenant with
him if they did not know he was even involved? A thought I have often pondered. What
happened to all of those who were instructed to put away their wives, did they
ever remarry? Did they stay single the rest of their lives? Thanks, Jennifer) |